Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
