just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
