do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
