oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
