Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You can't special order awesome
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
