Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
