I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
