I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
