It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
