you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
