He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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