His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
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