Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
