no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
