so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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