Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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