you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
