he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
