So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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