You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
