She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
