I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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