You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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