friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
