You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
