Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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