we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
