My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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