i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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