oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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