Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
