Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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