Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
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You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
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After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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