I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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