C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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