god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
