I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
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I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
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It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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