Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
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I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
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The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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