hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
