I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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