Who wears a wallet chain?!
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
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