Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
