Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
