well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
