I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
If that was your dad, he is hot
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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