I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
