There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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