Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
