I feel like I'm in dance class right now
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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