Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize