What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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