My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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