Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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