He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
