The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
