I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You made out with two different species that night
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
