I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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