Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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