Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize