Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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