Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
dude. I can hear the air.
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