he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
either way he was missing a nipple.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
