I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
