Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
