Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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