I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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